Do you ever wonder what people think when they meet you? When I leave a conversation, does everybody quietly give me a slow clap and gratefully nod their heads? Or do they all sigh with relief and laugh, relieved that the crazy lady has moved on? What do people see when they see me? They might notice my enthusiastic ramblings and my massive hair. But what I want others to see is my loving attention, my interested eyes, and my empathy for them.
I was thinking in work earlier about my post yesterday, and how my faith ties into my personality type. Does the way Christ calls me [us] to live impact the character traits I/we display? So I’m a Two….
Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing
These are indeed true of me. And for friendly, generous, and self- sacrificing is particular, traits Jesus possessed and therefore we- no matter our person type- are called to be.
They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed.
…so then is it about motive? As Christians we know that it is by faith and not by works that we are saved. Christ died for His people and so we naturally act from a place of gratitude and loving obedience and not because we want others to depend on us or think it is us they need, rather that [indirectly] Christ. But thinking about their/my need to be needed and appreciated: if I ‘had everything sorted’ my thoughts would go straight to the truth that my worth and value is found in Christ and not in the appreciation and neediness of others. For individuals who do hold this truth at the forefront of their mind, is this a trait they don’t identify in themselves or is it a non- existing trait which then contributes towards the individual being another personality type/ number? Confusing.
Another key motivation is…
…to get others to respond to them.
Now I’m all over this one! And man does it cause heartache when others aren’t keen on responding/ respond is a way I don’t understand or particularly enjoy. People are so complex! But how does God’s influence feed into my behaviour here? It’s also important to me that claims about me are ‘vindicated’. What does God say about the!? That I should turn the other cheek, walk away? Fight for what is right? ‘Right’ being the exposure of truth. But then this expose of truth is so that I’m not misunderstood, or disliked, or shunned. But that’s a selfish point of view.
Returning to the point of individuals responding to each other. As I did briefly yesterday lets compare my type (Two) with the individual who I until recently carried out a close relationship with (Type Five):
Twos and Fives come from different points of view on what is important in life and in a relationship.
Twos tend to become frustrated by the Five’s lack of immediate response to them—sometimes Fives are so taciturn and involved in their own mental world that there is no response at all—which hurts the Two’s feelings and feels like a rejection to them.
Considering one of us is a ‘feeler’ and the other a ‘thinker’, responding to each other was often tricky. But it worked. And when it doesn’t work and there is no response at all!? How do I as a follower of Christ ‘respond’ to this? Well I guess I’ve lived it. I let go of the control, trusting that God will direct this one to whatever the destination may be. I remember what I know to be true: he is loyal and despite finding the relationship complex he valued it and valued me, so I don’t get it into my head that he despises me. I could carry on but I think I’m done. My processing for the day has been done….for the time being.